Jake spent most of his life not realising he was autistic. He was diagnosed last year on April 2, which also happens to be World Autism Awareness Day. Now, armed with this self-knowledge, he is happier than he’s ever been.

Before working out I was autistic, I wouldn't have considered it because of my misconceptions about autism. I thought all autistic people had high support needs, and I didn't know any autistic people. Or rather, I didn't think I knew any autistic people.

I first learned more about neurodivergence when my partner was going through an ADHD assessment. I related to lots of it, but some things didn't make sense for me. A friend suggested that I might be autistic. That really threw me off, but I took it seriously and started looking it up. I especially related to people sharing experiences about AuDHD, combined ADHD and autism.

I am a freelance videographer, filmmaker and DJ. Doing the things I enjoy is very important for me as an autistic person.

Lots of people say to me, ‘It’s impressive that you're a freelancer. It seems like so much hard work.’ But it wasn't a choice: I've become a freelancer because I felt I couldn't do anything else. Any other ‘normal’ jobs that I've tried have failed.

I've had a couple of office jobs. They didn’t last long. I found the whole situation too stressful. I’d get into a bad mental space where I would ignore phone calls and upset people, and then be hard on myself about it, so I’d stop showing up.

As a freelancer, you have to be reliable, which I wasn’t at first. Only clients who really saw my skill would stick around. Over time, I’ve found ways to motivate myself. Often, it's making clear timelines with clients about what they need by when and being realistic about what I can do in that time.

As a freelancer, I can manage my own time, which is important to me as an autistic person. If I feel burned out, I can take a few days to recover.

I used to love going to parties, but I wouldn't love engaging in conversation with people. I've always loved music, so I would turn up at parties with a wallet full of CDs and sit in the corner changing them on the stereo. Friends would say, ‘You should start DJing’. And, in time, I did.

DJing helps me engage in social activities and be seen and validated by others, without having to engage with them too much. It's self-expression without the chit chat, which works well for me.

I consider dancing to be stimming. It helps me to regulate my nervous system and feel good and being in an environment that is designed for me to dance and get immersed in music.

With sensory stuff, I'm really affected by continuous droning noises, like lawnmowers or vacuum cleaners. But with a club or a festival, if it is generally good music, the loud noise doesn’t bother me. I'm choosing to be there. It’s within my control, especially if I'm DJing, as I’m choosing the music.

I find it difficult if I'm out dancing and I can hear people chatting near me, brushing up against me, or I can hear the lights moving. Before I knew I was autistic, I would find myself getting stressed and not know how to deal with it. But now I know what's going on and I'm a lot more in tune with myself, I find it easier to move somewhere else.

I find it odd that I wouldn't do that before. I guess to me, it didn't seem like what a normal person would do. Now that I'm diagnosed autistic, I no longer feel like I need to fit in with ‘normal’. I'm able to accept what makes life difficult for me and approach that from the perspective of an autistic person, instead of trying to fit myself in with everyone else.

Since getting diagnosed, I've bumped into old friends. If I mention I’m autistic, they'll go, ‘everyone is a little bit autistic’. I've heard this from lots of people, and I find that quite dismissive of the autistic experience.

I think it comes from the word ‘spectrum’. People believe that it's called a spectrum, thinking it’s a sliding scale of how autistic they are. But that’s not it. Different autistic people have different traits and there’s no two identical autistic people. It's called a spectrum for that reason.

Lots of people don't realise that you can be autistic and live in a way that appears to be quite similar to someone who isn't autistic. But that doesn't mean that you don't find it difficult. I can fit in with everyone else, but I find it draining, and I need lots more downtime.

If I'm out on a job and I'm having to mask loads to make other people feel comfortable, the next day, I feel like I can't do anything at all. I try not to mask these days. But I still sometimes find I’m forcing myself to make eye contact to make someone feel comfortable, even at my own expense. I don't think that autistic people should be doing that. I don't think we should be trying to fit square pegs into round holes. Some people are not into eye contact, or don’t want to chit chat with you, but it doesn't mean that they're rude. I think if people understood that, then it would be a lot better for everyone.

And if society understood autism better, that would help more people get diagnosed or understand that they're autistic. Having that framework is really helpful. And if you can't work out you’re autistic because of society’s narrow view of autism, you get stuck.

Being able to work out that you are autistic, if that is the case, is incredibly important. For many people, that can't really happen when there's this narrow societal view of what an autistic person is. Now I know I’m autistic, I don't need to be so hard on myself; I can accept how I am and accommodate that instead of forcing myself through uncomfortable situations.

I feel incredibly happy these days. And it's all from knowing I'm autistic. Whether it's autism or anything else, knowing what's going on in your head and having a good understanding of yourself is hugely helpful to your mental state.