Ashley shares what she loves about Christmas, the parts she would rather avoid, and her ideas for how non-autistic people can help make Christmas calmer for their autistic loved ones.

For Ashley, a calm Christmas is making time for winter walks and enjoying putting up decorations.

“I like having a hot chocolate, decorating and putting up the Christmas tree. It makes the house feel very homely and cosy.

I like going outside for walks in the evening because I find this less busy. A lot of people want to be indoors. I like being out in nature when it's quiet. Or seeing the lights in people’s homes. It’s very peaceful.”

From as long as Ashley can remember, she’s found some aspects of Christmas tough.

“I remember as a child going to see Santa Claus. It felt really awkward and uncomfortable sitting on Santa’s Lap because I have sensory difficulties and I find touch quite tricky.”

As an adult, she struggled with work Christmas parties.

“The most challenging parts of Christmas were work dos. Being around so many people, and the loud environment. If I’m not familiar with the venue and don’t know what's going to happen, I feel overwhelmed. I get stuck. I don’t know what to do.

“If it’s a group meal, I can feel awkward sitting across from someone. I feel like I need to remember to look at them and make eye contact. I find it hard choosing from a menu where I don’t like any of the options. I can be very specific about the food that I like.”

Although she loves window shopping with her friends, she does most of her shopping online to avoid entering the busy shops at Christmas.

“I don’t like going to the shops in busy periods. There are so many people, and it's quite overwhelming. Everyone's in a rush. Everything is happening really fast. It's so hectic and very loud. I feel like I can't keep up, and I just feel rushed when I get to the till.”

To help make sure All is Calm at Christmas, Ashley has a few ideas about what non-autistic people can do to empower autistic people.

“Be patient. You could buddy up with somebody and make sure they're OK throughout the day. Check in on them if there's anything that you could do to make them more comfortable.

I know it sounds confusing, but sometimes we don’t know what we might need in that moment, so you could make prompts or suggestions of what might help. Like offering a space where someone can go to be by themselves for a bit. A quiet room so they’re not forced to socialise.”

Ashley’s Christmas tip for autistic people is to find out what works for you and ignore the rest.

“Don't feel like you have to do everything by the rules. You can do things the way you want to do them and make your own traditions.”